Trigger Warning. Upsetting content ahead.
My journey as a Foster Cat Mummy has ended. I am devastated.
It all began last Wednesday when I noticed that Sakura, Mummy Floof, hadn’t touched very much of her food. I tried not to worry too much, and just tried to change her food. That didn’t seem to help things though. I decided to try her on some dreamies, Neko almost takes my hand off when he hears the bag rustling, but it did little to pique Sakura’s appetite, she took two then turned her nose up.
Gradually, over the course of the day, she seemed to become very insular which is when I became worried. She seemed to be spending most of her time sitting alone in a corner and only returning to their bed to feed the kittens. I was surprised to say the least, she was a very loving, sociable girl until that point. She was always pleased to see you and would come and greet you with a friendly meow and a leg rub when you went to check on them. I became very worried, so I called the lovely Lisa from the sanctuary who came bearing gifts of many different foods to try.
She checked over Sakura and realised she had become very dehydrated, so began syringe feeding her enough water to get her gums pinked up again. It had been very hot that day, and we had left the heating on but we turned it off immediately and kept the windows open as soon as we realised just how hot the room had gotten and how it had affected Sakura. It always felt quite cold in that room, so I didn’t know just how warm it would get at the first glimpse of Summer. Anyway, lesson learned and now to try her with the new foods.
We left several different varieties out for her to try hoping it would encourage her to eat something.
However, when I went in on Thursday morning, none of it had been touched and Sakura, was again sitting alone in the corner looking sad. tried to encourage her to drink something, but she wouldn’t. I managed to get her to take a few sips from the syringe but that was it.
She began being sick, by now, I am beyond worried and into panic mode. Lisa advised to try her on some chicken as the smell usually encourages them to eat when they’re feeling a bit down, and this had worked for another Foster Mummy in a similar situation. I went to the shop to buy a pack of chicken, but they only had spicy. I knew I couldn’t give her that so instead, decided to try our local butchers. I asked if they had any chicken scraps I could have for cheap. They gave me half a chicken which still had just enough meat on it to feed her, free of charge. I went home, cooked it up, but still nothing.
After calling Lisa from Fur and Feathers, we decided it might be best for her to go back for a few days to get her checked over and to see if she improved. I was heading to Devon for a few days for my Dad’s 60th birthday so Joe would have been caring for them while I was away, I decided to let them go back, that way, we could get them sorted and hopefully, we could continue.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t to be. Sakura and the babies were taken to the vets on Friday morning. She had a temperature of over 40C. I knew this was bad, Leica had had a temperature before too so I knew it was serious.
Questions kept flying around my head. Was it something I did? Was it something I didn’t do? Was there something I missed? Could she have fallen ill from being in my care? After losing Leica, the paranoia took hold and I haven’t stopped questioning myself since. I just can’t help but feel I could have prevented this. She was a beautiful, happy, friendly girl when she arrived and now she was sick. How could this happen?
I have nothing but complete trust for the ladies at Fur and Feathers, so I knew she would be taken care of.
When I woke up on Saturday morning, the heartbreak began.
Baby Finn had passed away.
The biggest and liveliest of the kittens. I was in complete shock and totally heartbroken. He had become cold and limp during the night, when he was due his 4am feed, he was found and passed away in Lisa’s hands.
Sakura was also in a touch and go situation. She had improved in some ways, her temperature was down, but she still wasn’t quite right.
Later that day, she deteriorated. the decision was made to let her cross the Rainbow Bridge.
So now, I am sitting here devastated once more. I’m currently receiving daily updates about the remaining three babies. All I can do is hope, pray and send them all the love they need to make it. They seemed pretty good with this morning’s update, so this is encouraging.
What on Earth happened? I just wanted to do something good in Leica’s memory, but it all went horribly wrong and I can’t help but feel like it’s my fault some how. I loved my little family so very much, and sitting with them and talking to them while they were here brought me so much joy. Joy I hadn’t felt in so long, but once again death reared it’s ugly head and snatched it all away. I just hope it doesn’t snatch the remaining babies too.
I will miss them very, very much. I’m so sorry that this happened little ones. All I wanted was to look after you. I’m sorry I failed you. But please know, that you are loved.